Deep Thought of the Day

[Jakestaby]

When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police.  But then I got curious about it.  I picked it up and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.

[Jakestaby]

If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you'd really be surprised.

[Jakestaby]

When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I think a good way to get out of it is just to say, 'No speaka English.'

[Jakestaby]

If you were a gladiator in olden days, I bet the inefficiency of how the gladiator fights were organized and scheduled would just drive you up a wall.

[Jakestaby]

If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.

[Jakestaby]

I remember how my great uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled off the paint.

[Jakestaby]

If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But only if you're serious about adopting the vulture.